Tuesday, March 28, 2017

A "Letter" of Apology to my Pen-Pals and Readers

Can’t believe it’s already the end of March and I’m just now returning to my blog (and most of my letters!)I’ve been busy traveling, having guests from out of town over, catching up with a few local friends, applying for new art contest and galleries and playing lol. But all my recent adventures will be recapped in upcoming posts, and none of these things are an excuse, I'm sorry for being so MIA lately. 

This post is to apologize to my readers, and most of all, my pen pals. I’ve been horrible lately at getting back at people. I know in the world of snail mail and blogging we all get behind sometimes, life happens and that’s ok. But I’ve seem to have developed a bad habit of late responding despite my promises to do better, and I feel bad about it cuz I have the best pen pals ever!
So here’s the deal that applies to both letters and blogging: Not so long ago I was talking with one of my teachers and she seemed to notice I was very stressed for putting too much on my own plate despite having way less to deal with than most people. I was aware of this but didn’t know how to fix it, (long story short I'm a Pisces with a Gemini moon which means my OCD goes from all to nothing while drowning in all the feels good and bad lol!)After a good talk she helped me realize I was making writing a chore, not that I don’t enjoy communicating with my friends and readers, but I kept adding it to the “work” pile rather than the Joy pile. My teacher made me revaluate things, making me ask myself and really remember why I got into writing letters and blogposts in the first place. 

I started writing letters as a way to form real connections and meet new friends all-around the world while I was going through chemo, and because I didn’t have the strength to pick up any big art projects, it was a way for me to get back into t my creativity and share it with others, spread joy! My first letters and envelopes had a lot more art in them than just washi and stickers.
Early 2015                                                                     Now😕

I got into blogging because there is still a writer in me somewhere and this seemed like a fun way, away from my family's, school's or general society's pressure and expectations to relate my soul journey to others, as well as serve the double purpose of giving big recaps of certain events to all my pen pals at once 😜

However, somewhere along the more recent line, my letter writing became all about “ticking them off” the to-do-list and always using pre-decorated paper; and I was racking my brain trying to come up with something meaningful for my blog every month. For this, I am sorry. You guys don’t deserve that, I don’t deserve that.
So I apologize for writing under that energy, even though I love you all. And I apologize for the delay in my responses. However, if I’m gonna be late responding, I might as well make it worth it and send you something beautiful that I’m proud to send and hope that it will be a source of cheer. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m re-focusing on quality and Joy over quantity and grouchiness lol.I’m not saying I’m expecting mail art from everyone, each of us have our own style. But neither you nor I deserve for my letters to you to be rushed, thought as something I just need to do, or not be the creative outlet I wanted it to be. I'm not saying either, I will never take advantage of stationery sets, I'm addicted to them haha! But I'm saying I will always strive to satisfy the creative in me one way or another, with every letter I write.As for my blog readers, I’m still here and excited to soon be sharing this trimester’s updates. But just as with my letters, I’ll come around only when inspiration really strikes and I can enjoy every second of sitting by the computer. I will not force myself to write on a gorgeous blue sky day when all I wanna do is play outside, nor will I submit you to read something that is not written in the highest possible energy. So aside from my apologies for my long interludes between writings, I am asking to all my readers, penpals or otherwise for your patience. And know that I’m often thinking of you and will always, always respond, no matter how long it takes. Know also that I am always grateful to have you in my life! 💗

Love and Light🌟