1 Year Celebration

This month was my 1 year anniversary since my last chemo!! Hooray!

I can't believe it's been a full year already. When I first started treatment I couldn't even fathom this day, I tried to imagine it but all my mind could come up with was not being poisoned anymore! At most I thought life would go back to what it was before, never could I have imagined what an amazing year I had in store :)

It takes at least a year for all the poison to leave your system. Doctors and nurses recommended not going back to "usual speed" for 18 months. My hair is still super short, I'm still struggling trying to lose the extra chemo-weight, my nails just this month started growing normally, I still don't have my full range of flexibility and strength back, the area where my port was still burns and hurts with certain movements and my cells are traumatized. For my body this year has been a loooooong journey, but it's starting to bare its fruits. For my mind the year went by in a whirlwind, and my Spirit has just been enjoying the ride haha.

But as a celebratory acknowledgement I decided to post a picture and short blurb significant experiences that happened each amazing month I've been alive and cancer-free! I hope it helps you remember that life is about the choices you make and it doesn't matter what doctors, experts or anyone else says, you do what's right for you at your own time <3 <3

-May 2015: 

 A friend of mine threw a Life Celebration party once I was well enough after the last treatment to go out. This was the first outing with a big group I had and it was awesome to have so many friends come to celebrate with me <3 a great first month indeed :)

-June 2015: 

 I was finally able to walk around my town with my friends and see the street art up close instead of through the car's window <3

- July 2015: 

 I got to go on a celebratory trip with my family to 8 different countries in Northern Europe including Russia! And it was one of the absolute best trips I've ever made, mostly because of how much love there was and all the family bonding that occurred <3 #lucky #blessed ;)

-August 2015:

 I came home from my trip in time to finally enjoy the music scene in town (and the gorgeous beach weather)! This was also the month I went to NYC with a group to celebrate a friend's bachelorette. There was a lot happening that month and I was strong enough to handle it woohoo!  

-September 2015: 

 This was the month I got a chance to meet new awesome people, including two iggles IRL :D (if you've read my previous posts about pen- palling you'll know what a huge thing this is for me!)

-October 2015: Halloween month! The best month of any regular year <3 

One of my closest friends and I were finally both healthy enough at the same time to go out and enjoy all the fun Fall activities in the area. I got to participate in a lot of Halloween related activities and meet lots of friends including the iggles again :)

-November 2015: 

 I was gifted by the Universe the chance to go on probably my most life-changing trip so far to Hawaii. This is where life clicked for me and I fell in love with the entire Universe <3 Shaka! This is also the month I unknowingly met my new teacher and was led to my new school.

-December 2015:

Another one of my uncles came to spend the Holidays with us and we just had some Xmas cheer at home. Not a usual thing in my family so it was very appreciated :)

-January 2016: 

 I started the new year in the mountains reconnecting with nature and healthy enough to start snow-shoeing for the first time ever! Also got an all clear from the doctors and got my check-ups much more spaced out and I started my first year of school :D

-February 2016: 

 Met a great new friend! Got to enjoy the beautiful winter festivities around town and got my port removed!! No more hospitals again! :D I was  also given the chance to patch things up with one of the most important souls in my life and celebrate my bday in Nature <3

-March 2016: 

 Life back to normal, going to concerts with my bestie, creating art and doing school work. I also signed with a Manhattan based gallery to represent my photography!! Such a great opportunity :)

-April 2016: 

And we've come full circle, started this month hanging out with my family and I'm ending it celebrating an absolutely amazing year of health! 

Life happened in between, had to do homework I didn't like, argued with people, lost friends, got injured, my apartment flooded, I got caught in the day to day stress of doing and getting things on time, there were days when I would get scared for my health again, put too much pressure on myself, etc... Life is just life, our choices, mind-set and believes are what create the reality we experience, but whatever you're choosing to create I just want to reming everyone and anyone who might be struggling or be scared about life post-chemo, it goes on! Things get better and you get to choose how to live it! 💜

Every day you're on this planet is not a blessing out of nowhere, it is a choice, what will you choose to create and manifest for your next amazing year? Whatever it is, if you get out of your head and believe it, it will happen! And always be willing and open to receive endless surprises and abundance from the universe, believe me it does happen.

Agape Love

This month I've felt like I’ve been super busy and don’t even know what with… But for whatever reason I’ve really neglected my blogging. The only real adventure I had this month was at the very beginning when I went to Vermont for spring-break with my cousin and some more family members. 

It was so much fun but it was also very illuminating. Before I went on vacation we had just covered in school the importance of Agape love. That real, unconditional, transcendental love that is less about “I love you because…” and moves through “I love you in spite of,” to get to “ I just love you, always.” 

Unfortunately in our society we’re not used to this kind of love, romantic love is pursued above all else and is thought of as the best kind, which is sad, because that is one of the most conditional loves there are, and then we take for granted or see as “incomplete” all other forms. That is not to say Agape love cannot be achieved in a romantic setting, it is just not it's nature and you really have to work at it.

Agape love is what we should all aspire towards and even though it is the most rewarding, biggest and most beautiful form of love, it’s also testing. 

Being an only child I’m not used to having a lot of people around. I’ve always wanted a T.V.-like big group of friends but I’m rarely in groups bigger than three and my family is tiny by Italian standards haha! So in this adventure, going on a road-trip with six people in the car was super chaotic for me. Simple things like trying to get a conversation going that included everyone, deciding where to go all together or what the rules of a game were was messy to say the least; and at times I felt invisible and unwanted and that brought up a lot of self-esteem issues I still need to work on. But at the end of the trip once we all settled into each-other's energies, all compromised, agreed to disagree and didn’t judge each other, not only did we get to know each other better, but I feel we bonded even more <3 That agape love became apparent, it clicked for me that’s what it was in a larger extent and shone light into the things we each need to work on to be better versions of ourselves, including showing that unconditional love to ourselves first. 

Overall a wonderful vacation with integrated homework I didn’t become aware I was doing until I saw us all be a unit

and felt my heart expand. Agape love= I love them not because they're my family, but in spite of our different believes, interests, contexts and ideas of what family is. My soul loves each of their souls just because. And this was my most important lesson this month, maybe not a new one, but definitely one that at least I used to take for granted ;)

 

What Are You Manifesting?

You guys! This month has been intense! Classes have swallowed a huge chunk of my time and trying to juggle homework, going to school, create art and having a social life has sometimes felt impossible. 

When the month started I was running around like crazy trying to get my schedule fully organized, feeling like I needed to plan almost every day in advance. BIG no-no! When did I become that person? First off, I never know what’s gonna happen, no one does, the future is never set in stone, I hate planning more than a week in advance (fantasizing yes, but real planning yuck!) And second, I know better than that. That all consuming illusion of time we humans seem so fond of, is just that, an illusion, a lie, and the best way to make it go faster and work against us is trying to control every second and jam packing our schedules. Wanna make time last what it “should” and have time to enjoy yourself and get everything done? Go with the flow and stay in the present moment!! I know, way easier said than done... Therefore I forgot that lesson this month and was doing what I just said should not be done.

I have to be honest, living the “planned out/structured” life is so exhausting I broke down several times crying, overwhelmed by all these things I had to do. ( My mom was wise enough to point out that other than do my best at school because I chose to and enjoy my life, I didn’t have to do anything. All those extra demands, I was just putting them on myself…Aha!)

Anyway, before I fully processed my mom's message I kept getting flooded by all these low-frequency-emotions of fear, stress, inferiority and constant overwhelm, so what happened next? My apartment flooded! Just what I needed, and of course it happened when my mom was out of town and my friends were sick, injured, in school or working so I had to deal with it by myself! 

It was such an inconvenience! I had to move out for days and days! And all of my art material and school stuff was buried underneath everything else I own in the only dry room, that now looked like an episode of Hoarders. As always there was a lesson here and this happened for good reasons, but it’s hard to listen to the Universe when you feel things are happening TO you. 

After I calmed down and my mom came back that night and rescued me, I allowed myself the time to process things. I had inundated myself with things to do and emotions I wasn't listening to, and therefore I manifested a flood. Since I wasn't stopping long enough to heal my own feelings and listen to the messages of release, the Universe took it upon itself to show in the physical realm what I was feeling. The only way for me to really learn the lesson, stop and declutter emotionally and physically as well as clear my schedule, was by getting me out of the house and forcing me to reorganize things slowly! The Universe is always on top of everything and it IS personal, it just does’t make things happen TO you but FOR you. Once you get out of the victim's mentality you can understand the message clearly and move forward. 

Take a breather, do not feel guilty about being “lazy,” listen to your body and intuition and pay attention to what is it you are manifesting. I remember once when I was worried about money I kept having the thought “I’m hemorrhaging money” running at the back of my mind, again victim’s mentality, and as a drama queen it had a nice ring to it, but what I manifested aside from not having money was a physical and constant nosebleed, eek! 

So before you you keep going on about the negative aspects of life, stop to process your emotions so you don’t get sick and find the lesson in whatever is happening. Be aware of what is it you want to manifest vs what you are actually manifesting. 

On the positive side of thought = manifestation, I kept uploading new photographs to my site this month and thinking something good would come out of it, I started composing a lot of the pictures I took out on my adventures as how I would like them to look in a gallery, just for fun. What did I manifest? A Legitimate gallery in Manhattan contacting me for artistic representation and a show later this year! 

So go around all day thinking that you are beautiful, loved and taken care of. That things will be ok and abundance and love will always be yours. Cuz  the more you think it the more it will manifest! And know that if things seem to be going "wrong" it is a lesson you needed to manifest for your Highest and Best ;)

You can read more examples of manifestations for either your personal and spiritual growth or to fulfill your heart's desires by a great Lightworker, Elizabeth Harper here and here respectively. 

Happy Spring and Love and Light to you all <3

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Pocahontas Was Right

Everyone knows I’m a huge Disney fan and I find all answers to life in Walt’s quotes and Disney movies, but I have to say, I failed as a fan growing up because Pocahontas was never one of my favorite movies. I just didn’t think the story was as fun as all the others. (although who didn’t love these three guys? hehe)

Now that I’ve embarked on a more serious Spiritual training to become a better me and hopefully help others through my journey however, I understand the sageness in Pocahontas’ words and especially in her song, Colors of the Wind. Has anybody REALLY listened to the lyrics lately? They ring so true and are full of wise advice (I know the movie does not reflect the “real” historical Pocahontas, but that’s not what this is about so please, if you’re a history buff try to look past it and focus on just the animated version.) 

As a younger kid I never doubted that “every rock and tree and creature, has a life, has a spirit, has a name,” it just made sense, since my stuffed animals have always been alive and I easily make friends with animals and flowers! But I never stopped to put more thought into it than that. Until now. 

As an exercise in school last month, they made us go out in nature and find a good-size rock that felt “right” to us. We were told to take this rock home and talk to it everyday until it talked back. Now I know this sounds insane for those of you who aren’t five but bare with me. I’m still five so I thought it was fun (didn’t tell any of my more grown up friends though.) The point of the exercise was to get us into a different mindset from the one society has taught us, one in which our imagination is free to soar without judgement. A mindset of respect for Nature and one that helps us stay in the present and be more observant. Now whether you can believe the rock talked back or not is up to you, but once you’re willing to forget about what society deems "normal" and sit around with a rock you start to notice things. My rock was able to convey its story just by being the focus of my attention. It told me it came from the river, it still has water marks and smells deeply of earth and dampness. It is also a very old rock used as a tool by natives because, even though it has been smoothed by time and erosion, it still has a vague cone-like shape and has indentations that are the perfect size for fingers. It was most likely used to ground corn or other grains. And yeah I had it checked by a Native American Medicine man so I didn't just jump to conclusions, how awesome is that?! I was also told by this man that rocks are considered the record keepers of the Earth, so just by following a super simple exercise I learnt something about another culture. How many more mysteries could we unlock if we just retrained our minds to sit still and unplug every once in a while without judging each other for being "weird?"

 

Acknowledging the Spirit presence around us can truly open doors to things you didn’t even know could happen. Like who would have ever thought I could have an ancient Native American tool in my living room?! 

This concept of connection and the belief that there’s a life-spirit or essence in every single thing in the natural world is the foundation for many native and ancient cultures and it helps create a more balanced coexistence with our planet. Just like Pocahontas said "You can own the Earth and still, all you'll own is earth until you can paint with all the colors of the wind."

If we all learned to adjust our perspective from thinking we are above the Earth and its non-human inhabitants, to recognizing we are all part of an energy balance supported by Earth, then not only could we find harmony a lot easier, but our lives would be so much more enriched by the simplest experiences! So in my opinion, Pocahontas was right and it took me all this time to really get it... just something to think about. 

And if you want to read about someone else's experience with the natural world, read Elizabeth Harper's post about her connection to trees. At least you'll see I'm not the only one thinking about these things lately and she's a lot more eloquent than I am, hehe. 

Love and Light to you all <3

Letter Writing as a Spiritual Practice

Everyone knows the Golden Rule, we all know gossip, judgment and stereotypes only harm and alienate us from each other and the One-ness, but unfortunately those things are part of our society. It’s a struggle for a lot of us to break away from those bad habits and see everyone as the beautiful Spiritual beings they are, instead of the human exterior we might not feel so similar to. 

I’ve mentioned before how I joined a pen-pal community while I was undergoing chemo (read here) and how much they helped me get back into a fun, creative life. The community is incredibly inclusive, safe and kind. And it’s not uncommon to stumble upon a conversation in our forums or twitter/slack about how we all wish our “real life” friends or people we encounter were more like the people we’ve “met” in this group. I constantly found myself agreeing with this, and I’m still trying to meet more of these great girls in person, but I hadn’t stopped to ask why we feel this way. How come everyone at the IGGPC can be such amazing human beings? And how are we able to show more of who we really are openly amongst members of the group but then we have to operate under other rules with our “Real life friends?” 

Studying in what can be considered a mystical school, doing my homework on bettering myself and dealing with classes all about matters of Spirit rather than ego, it hit me! 

The friendships formed over letters are pure soul connections with no ego or prejudice. You don’t know how that person you’re writing to looks like, how their living space is, what socio-economical class they “belong” to, what religion they practice, nothing! You just put your trust in the goodness of the world, knowing that they’re looking for a friend too, and you slowly start knowing each other by all the things you have in common, by the generosity of their packages and dedication to their beautiful letters. You get to know the real person on the inside because lets face it, it’s always easier to be open about your quirks and/or issues over a letter where you can compose your thoughts than in person where you don’t know how they’re going to react. 

You learn to care about these people who are open and loving before you ever know how they look like, what their families are like, etc. And by the time you do see them (even if it's just pictures or Skype,) your soul cares about their soul, the rest doesn’t matter. 

Thanks to the type of inclusive communities you get to see friendships without labels and across the entire planet. If it was a high school it would look something like a goth with a prep, a freshman with a senior, a Dragon cosplayer nerd with a Disneybounder, and it doesn’t matter! We all become one! It’s all about spreading love and cheer to one another and get that wave of happiness growing throughout the world.

I’ve made one of my (now) best friends this way, and we probably wouldn’t have become friends if we had met in person first, I'm more of a snob and tattoos can turn me off from people (I'm working on removing these behaviors.) But now my life is so much better because I know her. So it made me realize, pen-paling isn’t just a hobby, or and old school activity, it really is a gateway to true soul connections. 

It gives us something to think about, especially if you’re in any sort of pen pal community, if we can trust in the goodness of others and not judge them and connect with their essence, why don’t we do that more often with the people we actually see around us everyday? 

I propose we all try to see beyond the masks we put forth to cope with the world and beyond our limiting prejudices and try to think of everyone as if we were to be pen-pals with them ;)

Of course that doesn’t mean if someone is harmful to us we still keep them around, we just “don’t write back” but there’s no need to badmouth, gossip or judge. ;)

So thank you to all my IGGPPC friends out there and other communities like OTSP Secret Sister Project, SnailMail-Ideas and Mail a Smile for encouraging community, generosity and creativity and for, without even knowing it, creating a daily Spiritual practice by reconnecting us to our hearts <3

2014 The Year of the Cancer Blessing

There’s been a lot of buzz to eff cancer lately, and I just wanted to tell you as someone who has just gone through it that focusing on the negativity of it doesn’t help. Yes it’s absolutely horrible to lose someone to it, but it’s no less painful than losing them to any other illness, and for those of us who survive it, it makes us better versions of ourselves. 

I’m finally in remission, but it’s just been a few months, I still have some side effects from chemo, super short hair and a port under my skin connected to my heart, bad case of Reynaud's, etc. And despite all of these things I still consider cancer a huge blessing in disguise. 

Now, I’ve talked to some people that weren’t there to physically see me through the worst of it and apparently my attitude led them to believe I was not that sick. So let me tell you as quickly as possible what I had to go through:

A year of uncertainty as all of my results came back inconclusive but I was weaker and weaker and eventually couldn’t breathe, or eat. A Lupus misdiagnosis that got us off to the wrong track, kidney and liver failure, an immune system collapse and lung and heart problems. In October 2014 I ended up in the ER in need of several transfusions because without them they estimated I only had two days to live. The hardest part was to choose to stay on the planet and looking at my mom’s face as she processed the news. 

After that, I had to spend some days in the ICU with more transfusions and invasive tests that led to horrible night terrors, as I’ve always been terrified of doctors and hospitals, and whatever poisons they were pumping through the always painful IV were just making me feel gross. 

At this point I had different specialists all fighting for a diagnosis of either anorexia (as if I couldn’t be aware of that on my own,) or lung cancer, metastasized (I had a terrible cough that would not let me alone for 5mins and no one was doing anything to make it stop.) As soon as I could, I left the ICU and looked for a second opinion, but for this I had to get a biopsy. This too ended up being a bigger deal than it was supposed to. They poked and prodded me to no end before the actual biopsy, I still wish I could faint from pain, the scars in my arms from that day over a year ago are still visible. And then the "minor" outpatient procedure ended up being a surgery that took an “ice-cream scoop” out of the back of my neck and I had to stay at the hospital because my body did not withstand the surgery and needed more transfusions. I had about 10 in total.

By the end of all this we finally found I had stage 4 Lymphoma. It had spread everywhere including my blood, the worse of it was around my lungs which is why I couldn’t breathe or stop coughing, they didn’t think I would make it over three weeks. 

To my horror chemo was the only option. 

If you know me, you know I hesitate to even take pain-killers, I don’t do allopathy. I always try to remain clean and natural. I don’t drink or smoke or do any substances, I’m vegan and eat only organic foods and before I got sick, I was doing yoga and cardio. The news took everyone by surprise because on top of my lifestyle there is absolutely no cancer history in my family. What are the odds?

At this point I had already made the decision, thanks to my family, to not take this exit out of this lifetime and see things through, so I had to take chemo, as that was my only (50%) chance.The treatment for my type and stage of cancer was the most toxic possible and they had to put in a port to pump the thing right into my heart as it would literally erode my veins otherwise (yuck!!) I was so weak at this point that the mini-surgery they did to connect it to my heart made me code. I had to spend a few more days at the hospital before my first round... 

Chemo was much worse than the year of (unknown) cancer was. It still seems absurd to me that the treatment is worse than the illness, it just kills you slower, which is what doctors are betting on, the cancer dying before you die of poison intake.

I was one of the unlucky few to gain chemo weight, which is a pain to lose (I’m still struggling.) My fingernails kept growing but they became black and would curl on their ends like a taco, I lost all my hair which was brutal, that was my super power, lost my eyelashes and eyebrows, my skin turned a dark inhuman color, no words to describe it, but it wasn’t natural, I always felt dirty on the inside, like I had betrayed myself, I got a chemo-induced arthritis, even though on the good days I could go out and have fun I was always at least on a level 4 of pain, I still had nigh sweats, my muscles were always sore and right after the "infusion," I would need to sleep for 48 hrs straight. And by the last round I was so sick just from chemo, that I almost did die as the doctors warned. I was sick for a month, my body couldn’t even generate basic heat or move on its own. It was awful.

I’m very thankful we live in a time when cancer isn’t alway a death sentence, but I still don’t recommend chemo at all. In my opinion if there’s any other way at all, or the chances of surviving the chemo are less than 50% it’s not worth it. And if there’s no other option then know that whatever weird symptoms you get, you’re not alone, reach out to people that have been there. My doctor was sometimes very insensitive in telling me what symptoms were not “normal” for chemo but each body is different, and each life lesson presents itself in a unique way to every one. Don’t let anyone make you feel misunderstood or alone, there’s enough on your plate to deal with! 

But after telling you all the awful parts you might wonder where’s the blessing in all this? 

Well for starters, it gave me back my family. Uncles and cousins that I hadn’t talked to or seen in years came to my mom’s aid and it was beautiful! That sense of connectedness that you only get from your soul family was back, and they were there to give us moral and physical strength as well as show incredible generosity that I’ll never be able to repay. 

It also filtered out the people in my life who shouldn’t be in it anymore. I got an amazing support-network through the friends that stayed and some new ones that just stepped in, and even though I was worried about some of them disappearing, I ended up with the same number of friends I had before, but this time surrounded with a lot more positive beautiful souls that proved to be real friends. 

Some life perspectives have changed, going through this you gain more compassion and as an artist I see my art evolving to reflect more Light. 

I’m more in touch with nature and the simple pleasures in life that I used to take for granted. It’s like everything’s the same just on a HD screen now ;) I didn't change, my path didn't change, it wasn't a second chance, it was just a fast forward button on my perpetual evolution. An enhancer.

Cancer was a catalyst for an amazing year of re-connections to people I hadn’t been able to see in a while and of me exploring the world!

                                                          (Wigs became my best friends)

Thanks to the generosity of my family and unexpected surprises from the universe, I got to go to Northern Europe, Disneyland and Hawaii this year to celebrate I was alive! And none of the trips would have happened all in one year and with the people I went with if I hadn’t gotten sick.

Also, my lack of physical strength led me to look for other ways to socialize, so I became part of a pen pal community that do way more than just write letters(IGGPPC). They not only helped me feel connected but found me a very dear friend and gave me some little wellness, physical and artsy challenges that got the ball rolling for me to get back into life. And now I’m officially a first year student for Counseling and Herb Medicine and Art through a non-traditional school. I wouldn’t have landed here without the journey I took. I owe my mom and uncles my life, they kept my spirits high and the medical bills at bay lol. A million thank-yous will never be enough but I’m also thankful for the big “C” experience. Cancer to me was the cocoon for the caterpillar to turn into a butterfly...

I will not deny how painful it is to see your loved ones worried over you, that was the hardest part of all, or how defeating it is when you need someone to lift you up to your pillow because your body won’t respond anymore and you can’t sit up on your own. Cancer is hard but living in fear or hate, giving in to its negativity won’t help the patient or the family. Life is a choice, not everything’s bad. While I was sick I still managed to go to DisneyWorld twice, to a Broadway show and stand on the stage of the New Amsterdam theater and to a concert with my bff, my body didn’t appreciate it much, but my soul did. Choose to heal yourself by doing what makes your heart happy. Mental and emotional health are at least half the battle! 

So instead of raising a middle finger to cancer lets be thankful for our health, for the life lessons or for the release from pain for those whose time was up. Share your stories of hope, help the patients smile, be compassionate and kind, embrace the light it can bring rather than focus on the dark! 

And please read Nalie.ca for more cancer surviving posts. She’s supper positive and helped inspire me while I was still on treatment. As for me, hopefully I’ll have the port removed in April and I can be done for good with this particular lesson ;)

Love and Light to all <3

                                             How I look some months after chemo. No more wigs!

Introduction

Hi all!

So I finally caved and decided to get a blog. I have many things to talk about on my mind but I think for now, I'll try to keep it to why I named my blog what I did and what I wish this little piece of the internet universe to be. Hope I can stay on topic.

When I was little(er) I always dreamed of having a business named the Multi-Fantasy Enterprise. I didn't know what it did exactly, I would just show up and have a blast and something great would come out of it. The sky was the limit, it was right there in the name! It's a place to create/do several things you dream up all under the same roof. You have to know I'm heavily influenced by Disney and would not have it any other way.
Not much has changed since those days, I still fill my days with coloring, playing, traveling, taking pictures and Disney everything! I just can't choose one single thing from all that I love, and do only that. I have many interests and passions and as I re-embark (post cancer) on this journey of growing, mark that it's not the same as "growing up," I figured I could start creating my Multi-Fantasy dream. So I created this blog with the intent to encompass everything in my life, not just one thing :)
Now the hummingbird part comes into play as my symbol. It is my animal representation. If you know about hummingbirds you know they stand for joy, creativity and freedom and they actually die if you cage them. Plus they go from flower to flower hardly ever stopping, like me! It is also a play on my name. (More about that can be found in my bio, on my art portfolio page www.colibreePhotogrART.com)

As for my intent with this, well having been bullied, been through stage 4 cancer, never fitting in, having had eating disorders, etc. Never growing up and just in general dancing to the beat of my own drum through life, while being VERY Spiritual but not religiously affiliated to anything, I realized there is a need for more safe spaces to just be yourself and share your experiences without judgement or expectation of what "normal" looks like, or restrictions based on what the system dictates your age to be and spirituality to look like, and after visiting sites like www.Nalie.ca , www.sealedwithlove.com and of course my awesome friends over at one of the most loving, inclusive communities www.geekgirlpenpals.com , I decided to join the wagon and spread some Light and hopefully inspiration and entertainment through my Soul journey. Because even after everything I've been through, my life is beautiful and perfect and I want you to feel the same way about yours! At the end of the day we are all connected and it feels good to stumble upon something that makes us realize we're not alone or we're not the only "weird" ones :)

This is just the beginning of the year and there's a lot of beauty to create, Light to share and multiple fantasies to fulfill ;) Shine your unique self into the world and don't let anybody take away from your dreams. I can't wait to share my year with you guys and see what comes out of this! Please feel free to share your own comments and journeys here as well, or send me links to your own blogs <3

Hope you're new year is starting with the wonderful energy of love and possibilities. And Thank you for being part of my new creative experiment!

Love and Light,
~B~